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Learned and relearned

Sometimes it takes learning something again and again and again. Let's hope the lesson sinks in this time.

About two weeks ago I noticed that my left outer thigh felt numb while also producing occasional pain. Of course, the first thing I did was jump to some wild conclusions. Since the area was approximately where my cell phone rests against when in my pocket, the obvious answer was that the radiation from the phone had deadened this part of my leg and possibly made it cancerous. I wish I was joking, but seriously, that was the first thing that crossed my mind.

I stopped carrying the phone in my pants pocket to see if a little time without it there would make a difference. It didn't. The problems persisted. Hmm.

Naturally, the obvious thing to do is jump to a conclusion that may be even more outrageous. This must be the first sign of ALS. Never mind that I don't really know much about it. My maternal grandfather died from it--not that I knew him or ever witnessed the effects of the disease--so clearly I must have inherited it.

In my feeble defense, I can't say that I dwelled on these ridiculous assumptions, but not knowing what was wrong and not doing much about it let me worry like a champion. I tried applying Sportscreme and taking a week off from exercising. Neither seemed to have any appreciable effect.

At the very least I could have looked up the symptoms to get some possible answers. Or I could have gone to the doctor. But no, let's worry about this and make myself miserable. Obviously that's the best solution.

I ended up plugging information into Google and finding what seemed like a reasonable diagnosis. Granted, the first place I think I found this was in an old discussion forum with people who had given some worst case scenario answers to those inquiring about their symptoms. I poked around a little more looking for info about this condition and decided that this is probably what I'm experiencing. That in and of itself let me ease up on the worrying.

I called the doctor's office this morning and surprisingly was able to get in today. The doctor agreed that my self-diagnosis sounded correct, handed me some anti-inflammatory medication, and told me to let him know if I don't notice any improvement in a few weeks. (It could still be a pinched/compressed nerve. It just might need to be treated with something else.)

The lesson, again, is that when it comes to medical concerns, it's better to address them head on. Concocting wild ideas about what might be wrong isn't productive. If anything, they make me feel less like checking with a doctor. What if the doctor confirms my worst fears? What if it's expensive? The question that's not going through my mind often enough--but should be-- is what if you're not helping yourself in any way by handing the issue in such a manner? (I should mention that I've not had any impairment or loss of function, which was the main consoling factor in all this.)

I worked out tonight and didn't notice any issues. I then went to see The Mountain Goats in concert, which required being on my feet for three hours straight. That was probably not the best decision--I was feeling the pain early on--but hey, I bought the ticket awhile back. As if not going was an option.

Stalling tactic

Working on wrapping stuff for the end of the year, some for this.

One thing that won't be making that list but which somehow seems to sum up the year is Das Racist's "Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell". Do I like it? I don't think so. But there's also something about it. I dare you to keep it out of your head. (Not listening doesn't count.)

Whiskers

Unintended as it may be, I now find myself with enough scruff on my chin and cheeks for it possibly to be called a beard. I didn't feel like shaving on Friday. The same went for Saturday. Why bother on Sunday? I planned to shave it on Monday, but again, I couldn't find the motivation to mess with the razor and shaving cream. Today it was going to be gone, but with the temperature dropping into the low twenties and headed lower, I figured it was a little extra protection against the cold.

If anything, the temporary facial hair is a way of mixing up how I look, even so I seem a little less familiar to myself in the mirror. It's not like I can do anything with my hair to change things up. As easily as it grows on my face, it just as fervently is receding atop my head. Can't say I'm thrilled about it, but what am I gonna do? (The answer: nothing. When it's gone, it's gone.)

The thing is, I'm not necessarily crazy about the beard. It comes in well enough, except the bristles tend to be lighter in color than my dark brown hair. Some small spots are even *gasp* gray. (Seriously, cut it out nature. I'm not that old yet, and you've already taken enough too soon.) I have noticed that if I look at this nascent beard when the light isn't shining on it, it appears darker, so I don't know what exactly is going on.

At five days' growth, going on six, the beard is on the verge of looking scuzzy and becoming an irritation to me. Not yet, but close. There is something strangely appealing about letting it grow as a statement of disaffection, however. Having it is a little like wearing a mask too.

When I shave it off, which will be soon enough, the same old me will look brand new again...and probably sport a nick or two from shearing it.

And no, you're not getting a picture.

Cram session

It's exam week at work. While I don't have any tests or final papers, I do have plenty of work to cram in before the Thursday holiday arrives. So, knitting has taken a back seat, and I am nearly at wit's end. I need to make it through two more days. Hopefully I can then take it easy for a bit, excepting the eight hours of driving round trip during the long weekend.

This is all a way of saying that a) I don't have the slightest idea what to write about tonight and b) even if I did, I can barely keep my eye open at this time. I appreciate that being on an academic calendar (to an extent) does set aside time for lulls/breaks, although that's not always how I experience them. In my opinion, the upcoming one can't get here soon enough.

Ellipses

I wish...

...it was November 5.

...so much of today's politics was not about fighting the 1960s and the New Deal all over again.

...that the countless hours of news and sports talk was devoted to the calm and reasoned discussion and research of topics rather than shouting over one another about spin, speculation, and analysis of the spin and speculation.

...one of the professional sports franchises I root for would win on a regular basis.

...that these World Series games would end at reasonable times.

...I could find a definitive answer that the new Guitar Hero: World Tour peripherals will work with Rock Band 2 and vice versa.

Some philosophical twaddle to end the work week

Have you ever had a day in which you haven't had a single meaningful conversation or interaction? Doesn't it make you feel a bit like your reality is, I don't know, off? To clarify, I'm not having a mental breakdown, nor am I sliding into a funk. It's just been a weird day.

Since gas prices have momentarily dipped to a more tolerable level, I decided that this was the right day for driving 220 miles round trip to IKEA for the CD towers I've been meaning to get. I could have ordered them online, but the shipping costs and the hassle of having them delivered, likely when I would not be home, nixed that idea. So I got into the car at 9 this morning, drove to north of Cincinnati, made the purchase, and returned home by 1:15.

I forgot my cell phone for the trip. This wasn't a big deal since I'm not bombarded with calls, especially urgent ones, but I considered turning around to get it because what if my car breaks down, I get stranded, etc. Never mind that I may have never used a mobile phone in one of the few times that I've had vehicle trouble on the road. I didn't have that safety blanket. After a few miles I shrugged it off and zoned out as time vanished during all of the driving in the rain.

I came home and assembled the CD towers. Then I elected to head downtown to snag a cheap ticket for tonight's Columbus Blue Jackets-New York Rangers game. I stood in line for a good twenty minutes, got dinner, went to the game, and came home. Through all of this, I didn't have one significant interaction.

I don't mean that my days are ordinarily filled with at least one rigorous intellectual discussion of Proust or soul-baring conversation. (For the record, I've never read Proust, but he sounds like a good hoity-toity author for the purposes of this illustration.) In fact, it's the regular, mundane interactions with people you know that, in a weird way, sort of reinforce your existence. Brief exchanges with cashiers and such, not so much. Maybe what I mean is that the content in the communication doesn't matter as much as the shared history between the communicators.

I will grant that I may not be making any sense or am getting too philosophical. (This is precisely why I wasn't going to write about this, but lack of blogging fodder forced my hand.) It's just been an odd feeling to experience a day and not have anyone around who supports that perception of reality (and to know the next two will be similar). This seems to be one of the central questions of the ABC TV series Life on Mars, so I'll blame watching it for having me thinking about the matter and potentially sounding like a lunatic on here.

I've got the power

And the power is back. Going by my clock radio, it appears that the electricity was restored around 12:45 p.m. today, but I have one more adventure in no home power to dispense. Then I'll write about the socks...tomorrow.

Last night I needed to write movie reviews for work, and one laptop battery's capacity wasn't going to cut it. Internet access wasn't a necessity; a working wall outlet was. The easiest and closest spot was Starbucks. The place was empty when I entered, but before long other powerless, wandering souls streamed in. The music and conversations were too loud. I couldn't concentrate, so I packed up and headed to a bookstore.

At this point I had decided to chuck the writing and finish the toe on the sock. The coffee shop section of Borders seemed highly populated for 9p.m. on a Monday, but there were plenty of people looking for available sockets or anywhere that wasn't a darkened home. I plopped myself down, finished the sock, and then wondered where I could go next.

The answer, for any of you wondering what can provide light, power, and a quiet work space after the usual options have closed, is: Tim Horton's. The donut chain is open 24 hours, but as I found out, they don't lock the doors until 2 a.m. Perfect.

I bought a donut but not a coffee. Some evening java at Starbucks was already a bad idea if I wanted to get to sleep at a reasonable hour. Then I set up my computer, briefly tapped into some unsecured wi-fi ripe for the picking from a nearby salon, and pounded out a significant portion of what I needed to write. The only movement in the place was employees going out for smokes.

As I pulled into my apartment complex's parking lot, I again noticed how light the night sky seemed without illumination sources on the ground. The moon was stunningly bright and possessed beauty and power that is diminished when competing with our artificial light sources. I took some time to look at the stars and see if I could identify any constellations. I took an astronomy class in college--there's the liberal arts for you--but it's been ages since I thought much about what I learned then. The night sky was easier to scan without the light pollution, something that was a sore spot around here for those who didn't want to see the Big Ear Radio Observatory closed.

I was hoping to have power when I got home tonight, but when I drove up and saw that it was back, I had a little regret that I wouldn't be able to look up and marvel at what's overhead like I did last night.

Food for thought

I cannot imagine why the question and answers came to me as I woke up at various times in the middle of the night, but for some reason one of the things I was mulling over while I slept (and when it was interrupted) was fast food restaurant franchises that no longer exist. Seriously, I don't know what brought it on.

I'm not exactly sure what thoughts came during waking life and sleeping life, but I came up with three while dismissing a fourth for a nitpicky reason. Here are my answers to a question no one was asking:

1. Burger Chef

In terms of logos it seems fitting that the Burger Chef which used to be in Englewood, Ohio when I was a kid was replaced by an Arby's. Just trade the chef's hat for a cowboy hat on the sign outside the restaurant. Burger Chef has been long gone--the Wikipedia page suggests that the local change may have happened around 1982--but it's a perfect example of whatever mystery my brain was trying to solve in the early a.m. hours. I haven't thought of this place in forever, so I'm a little curious to poke around The Burger Chef Reliquary to see if I recognize anything.

2. Rax

Until Rax started going downhill, I preferred it over Arby's. Their roast beef sandwiches were better. The salad bar was ahead of its time for a fast food place, and I loved their mint chocolate chip shakes. The food was memorable, and so was the atmosphere. It always seemed like a classier fast food place than most. The lighting was not as harsh and set more of a fine dining mood. Assuming my memory isn't failing me, the floors were carpeted, and the front seating area was a solarium.

I can remember many Sundays after church with the Rax line snaking to the entrance. On the way back from Washington, D.C. I stopped at one off of I-70 several years ago, in part because I couldn't believe it was still in operation. Apparently Rax is still alive and kicking, barely. Perhaps a road trip is in order one of these days. Lancaster isn't that far. And to bring things full circle, Rax emerged from a corporation that began with a Burger Chef.

3. Roy Rogers Restaurants

Again, I haven't seen one of these in ages, and it's not like I remember them very well in my past either. I can envision one that I think was in the Dayton area--maybe it was Cincinnati, as there's some hazy memory of eating at one of these before some farm trade show down there--but unlike the other two, I can't say that it was a place ate which we ate with any regularity. To my surprise, Roy Rogers Restaurants are not defunct.

So here I was thinking that Rax and Roy Rogers weren't around any longer--with as few locations as both have, neither are exactly booming--but they didn't qualify while Sisters Chicken & Biscuits, my slumber-addled disqualified answer, most certainly does. I don't know if I ever ate at one, so the lack of a personal tie probably eliminated it in my mind. Sisters definitely isn't around now. It doesn't even have a Wikipedia entry.

Other bygone fast food places are starting to come back to me as I poke around for information, but these were the ones that came to me in the haze between sleeping and waking. I guess I can be grateful for coming up with a blogging idea during my off hours.

Somebody stop me

Four years ago I decided that for the sake of my sanity I would stop watching television news. I simply couldn't stomach any more of the mostly useless content. I may have to start swearing off political coverage online as well. There's so much horse crap out there, whether from official channels or surrogates, that it drives me absolutely bonkers.

Yet I can't look away. What's the latest flowing BS? Refresh, refresh, refresh.

It's reached critical mass in the last few days. I really need to stop checking on this stuff. On top of that, one of my brothers has sent me an extremely long e-mail detailing all of the reasons he would not support my preferred candidate, although curiously there's not a whole lot he says in favor of his. I'm tempted not even to respond and to try my best to unplug from it all.

So I've got to say thanks for The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. Sure, they are comedy shows first and foremost, but at least someone's doing media criticism and pointing out the stuff that makes me crazy. If I can't find something in all this to laugh about the next two months, it'll be a long sixty-plus days.

Make it work

Off and on for the last few days I've been straightening up the apartment and now have it in a condition that I find mostly acceptable. If all goes well after I'm done with this blog entry, I'll finish off the writing I need to do for work and can begin to feel more like I'm on vacation. Sure, I have to go to the office Tuesday, but I'll have crossed off two big tasks that I wanted to get out of the way before kicking back.

Although it would have been nice to have been aimless, I'm pleased that I have been able to get all this done. I'll be able to go to tomorrow's Radiohead concert without fretting over things undone and can take my time heading to work in two days. I can be a terrible procrastinator, so getting a jump on something for once provides a good feeling.

In hopes that this entry is worth your while, let me point you to something of great use to me that turned up in my Google Reader friends' shared items: a guide to fabric care symbols. I've been perplexed by some of the symbols I've seen on yarn labels, so this will be extremely helpful.

Filler

Knitting on the hand towel continues. I finished a skein of the red while having a fair amount of the yellow left. Not sure what happened there other than a significant discrepancy in the size of each skein.

Knit Picks is having their 40% off summer book sale. Any favorites, old or new, worth considering?

Sorry, that's all I have today.

Crumbs

Some days I'm a chatterbox (something that isn't always evident in person), some days I don't have much to say. This would be one of the latter.

I suppose the last several days have been "interesting", although they've also been mostly unpleasant. Today was uneventful. Thank God for that.

I picked up a new pair of needles so I could resume work on the hand towel. I debated whether to go to knit night, eventually choosing to attend since lately I'd had more than enough of my own company while suffering from the kidney stones. I got a nice bit done on the project even if I feel like it will be a neverending one.

And that's pretty much it. Here's to a relaxing weekend.

This and that

I'll spare you more moaning and groaning about the stone rattling around in my kidney and instead direct you to a nice article in the local paper about Ravelry. The knit night referenced is the one I've been going to, although it's my understanding that the writer incorrectly attributed who started it.

Today is World Wide Knit in Public day. Did you indulge in some public knitting? I had planned to go out for a KIP, but earlier today it took all I had to make this Go Out in Public and Find a Painkiller That Won't Have Me Puking day. Going by the effects the hospital-administered and prescribed narcotics have had on me, it's safe to say there's no danger of me becoming a heroin addict.

Anyone heard anything about the Ohio Stitch N' Pitch events? As a Reds fan I'm more inclined to attend the one in Cincinnati, but I'll keep an open mind about the team in the northern part of the state.

Apologia and piffle

I apologize if I've been a pill and the blog has been a drag to read during the past week. With the work-related drama, long hours, and lack of sleep, I sense that I've been generally unpleasant. Not having knitted in a week, I haven't had any yarns to write about. Instead I've been in whinefest mode, which I need to do in moderation but which you don't necessarily need to read.

For today's recovery regimen I slept in, slipped out to get some lunch since I didn't feel up to exerting the effort to make something, slept some more, and then stared vacantly at the TV. I'm hoping it's an uneventful beginning to an uneventful week, but I'm steeling myself for additional workplace aggravation. Like it or not, there's probably another month of those particular headaches to come.

The brief time I was outside provided the notice that summer is here. A normal spring has been virtually nonexistent, making this a season-less stretch. The heat and concluding of the school year usher in what I think of as summer, even if the calendar hasn't reached that season yet. Bring on the less demanding days (in theory) and the satisfying taste and relief of a cold beverage. I'm ready.

One of those days

Excerpts from a day that was not noteworthy...

Wake up late with the aftereffects of seasonal allergies kicking things off with a headache...

Play catch-up at the movie theater with Redbelt and Speed Racer. Oddly enough, both films tell highly stylized stories about maintaining personal integrity by staying outside of the system. The Mamet film is by far the better of the two, although I suspect the spartan dialogue and plot details may be more off-putting to general audiences than the attention deficit disorder hallucination that is Speed Racer. The headache that had diminished returned while watching it...

Find freelance check in the mail for the blurb I wrote a few weeks ago. There it is: proof that I can now claim to have been a paid writer, at least once...

Get a work-related e-mail that is the latest of an infrequent but infuriating variety. Call co-worker to fill him in. Much bitching commences...

Squeeze in some exercise before the rain...

Take the nap that my body was requesting during Speed Racer...

Browse Ravelry in search of a project idea. Still no luck. Have momentary thought that maybe I should knit that second sock now. Realize that it's late and I must not be thinking straight...

Beat the medium level on Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock. I have serious doubts that I can complete the hard level--finishing expert is probably a pipe dream--but it's been fun learning "guitar". I wouldn't mind picking up the real thing one of these days...

Nobody knows nothing

(Yeah, I know the title is grammatically incorrect.)

I finished another dishcloth tonight, but I'll save it for Wednesday. I have something else to get out of my system.

For the last four years I've avoided watching television news as much as possible. The superficiality of it infuriates me. I know the channels have all that time to fill and need to put something on, but at best their information is equivalent to the empty calories in one's diet.

But, if you haven't heard, this is a Presidential election year, and I am drawn to the news despite my misgivings about it. I'm beyond sick of the primaries, but I was curious to find out what today's returns were like. And so I tuned in to a cable news channel to get the skinny.

The catch is that there's limited news to report. Most of the time is filled with pundit and anchor speculation and the spin of politicians and their surrogates. It's spectacular stuff--and not in a good way. Listening to the frequently irresponsible prattling is enough to make me start bleeding from my eyes and ears. (OK, not really, but if you've watched it for any length of time, you know how crazy it can make you.) It isn't journalism, just glorified bull sessions with so-called experts trying to push their agendas and entertain.

And yet I've had a hard time looking away from it, in part because it appears that this stretch of the election season may finally be coming to a close. I'm repulsed by how the information is being transmitted, yet I've spent a few hours tonight consuming it anyway. (It's not like my worst-in-the majors Reds gave me much of a viewing alternative.) I don't know how people watch the news without feeling insulted or going mad. I'll ride it out the rest of tonight, but TV news and I are going to need another nice long separation again.

An off day

I've been looking forward to this weekend and the chance it presents to slow down from the hectic pace of late. A rainy Saturday is good for that. I opened the sliding door on the west side of my apartment and let in the cool air. As I drifted into and out of an afternoon nap I listened to the wind blow through the trees and rain fall gently. The Canadian geese honked their songs while the smaller birds chirped.

For a much greater portion of the evening than I care to admit I played online against two of my brothers in Mario Kart Wii. Ah, the joy of beating siblings hundreds of miles away. I didn't win every time, just enough to rub it in.

There is knitting and writing to be done, but that will be for another day. Today was all about turning off the brain and recharging my batteries.

Thirty second update

This is the secret knitter with a thirty second update on my projects.

The blue and orange ballband dishcloth is halfway completed. I'm amazed at how complicated it looks and how easy it's been to make. Imagine that. Learning something new is a good thing.

I'm dead tired from my post-festival catching up, so that's all for today. This has been the secret knitter with a thirty second update. Stay tuned for more substance at some undetermined future time.

Random lessons

Things learned and relearned in recent days

-On the rare day that I'm sick, perhaps taking a day off work wouldn't be the worst idea in the world.

It wasn't until I felt better that I realized how sick I was for a few days last week. Admittedly, I wanted to go in because I was going to be out at the end of the week, but I can't help but believe that I did myself no favors in dragging myself there.

-There are no worse advertisements than those on AM radio.

It's not just the crap that gets advertised but also the form of the sales pitches. Whether it's mind-numbing repetition or inane "conversation" about the product, these ads are as annoying as they get.

-Don't talk politics.

At the beginning of film festival days there is a lot of time spent waiting in line to enter the theater. Inevitably conversations are struck up because everyone is bored. I was speaking with a woman behind me in line, and the subject somehow got around to the Presidential election. We shared support for a candidate and many similar views regarding the nonsense that is distracting from the important stuff. After fifteen minutes or so, the guy in front of us turned around and started blasting this candidate and people like us who would support such a person. I was really taken aback by this hostility.

I make it a point not to bring up politics because anymore it's such a contentious and futile exercise that it isn't worth the grief. (In this instance, the aggrieved party wasn't even in the conversation.) Plus, I don't feel smart or aggressive enough to parry those whose verbal thrusts are all party line talking points laced with venom. I can't help but believe that the inability for those who disagree to listen to the other side is a large part of the problem with the political dialogue in this country.

-Driving while tired is one of the worst feelings in the world.

I had around three hours of driving ahead of me yesterday when I started feeling really tired. I knew I needed to pull over and take a break, if just to regain more focus, although I had to wait several minutes until I could find a place to stop. In the meantime, that struggle to keep my eyes open and drive the car was really unpleasant. A rest stop revived me a little, and a coffee a few exits later artificially boosted me for the remainder. Still, those moments when I could feel myself flagging were no fun at all.

-There's no place like home.

I'm realizing that this list is heavy on "worsts", so I'll end on a high note. I enjoyed my time away and was treated generously by some people I've come to know at the festival over the years. Nevertheless, I'm happy to be home again. Everyone needs a base, a place to feel comfortable and to recharge. It's time for me to do that once again.