END

More projects at work await, but for now I can sit here and breathe a sigh of relief that the most demanding portion of this time of year passed earlier this evening. Four half-hour TV shows in three weeks--double the usual load--is a lot of work considering all of the writing required, to say nothing of the editing and general busy work that is involved as a hyphenate. I'm not totally thrilled with everything, be it my writing or performance, but it doesn't matter because IT IS DONE.

Sure, things never seem to slow down, but I know I am through the worst. To top it off, I turned out decent final products. I guess I know what I'm doing after all. With more time I might have been able to do better, but these days I'm resigned to "good enough" as the standard.

If left to my own devices, I would probably be tempted to tinker and refine indefinitely. I have a very strong perfectionist streak in me, and while it can be helpful when it comes to the details, it can also be paralyzing. The need to finish something, to proclaim it done and leave it at that, helps offset the perfectionism. It's why deadlines are a saving grace and why the immediacy of blogging allows me to loosen my grip and just put whatever out there.

It's why I have a deep appreciation for productive artists. Give me a band or a film director who release new works every year or two than those who take a decade between projects. Succeed or fail, I'd rather see the work than go without while they toil endlessly trying to craft something just so. There are bound to be missteps, but the stumbles aren't as big when another effort will soon follow.

In my own work I feel like I do more of the stumbling, but I suppose I'm willing to accept looking bad as I plug away at what I'm doing. It doesn't mean I'm satisfied with the miscues or lesser attempts--far from it--but at least I feel like I'm trying to get somewhere or, on fleeting occasions, have reached it. Tonight I arrived at one of those destinations. I'm going to enjoy it for the brief time I can.