Sunday, September 12, 2010

That smell

When I returned home from my travels I noticed a smell emanating from the refrigerator. I was gone quite a bit, so it is no surprise that something (or some things) went bad while I was away. Truth be told, there were probably already spoiled stuffs in there before I departed. They just had more time than usual to mature.

I noticed that the stench was beginning to attach itself to everything in the refrigerator and freezer, which meant that I finally needed to do something about it. Cleaning the refrigerator was a task I needed to accomplish before this smell was produced. Now the job could be ignored no longer. I mixed some baking soda and water in a squirt bottle and went to work. I left some baking soda in both compartments in hopes that it might soak up any residual smell. It may take a day or two, and perhaps another once over, to return the refrigerator's interior to its proper state.

It has also become clear that I'm overdue for a scrubbing. I suppose it's natural that birthdays can bring about self-evaluation. The summer provided time for some soul searching as well. The family vacation in particular let me understand or remember why I am the way I am. It's all well and good to realize such things about myself, but it's worthless if I don't do anything about it.

I won't bother to go into it all here. Suffice it to say that I can be extremely self-critical and am susceptible to getting down on myself. Couple that with not feeling one hundred percent due to the nagging injury from the car accident--something that I assumed would simply get better on its own--and I am aware *again* that I need to take better care of myself. Just like the refrigerator, I've let things go that I knew I needed to address but left alone.

Of course, knowing it and doing something about it are two completely separate things, so I may just be talking a good game. Still, I think I'm at one of those points where I'm ready to do something about the clutter and the dissatisfaction. (Let me be clear that I'm essentially OK; this is a me vs. me matter.) Patience is a virtue, but sometimes it's a crutch for not looking hard at what needs to be examined. I certainly don't feel like I'm equipped with the answers to the questions I'm facing, but it's time I started trying to find them.



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