Fraternal order

As the oldest, I've known my brothers for their entire lives. Certainly there are significant gaps--time I've been and they've away at college and beyond--and those have tended to be at the most formative moments. After all, those college and post-college years are usually when most people become who they are.

My two youngest brothers have lived in this area (more or less) since they finished college. I'd only been over here once. That was a number of years ago and before the youngest relocated here. (In other words, I'd never been to his home.) My three youngest brothers all went to the same university. Some of those academic years overlapped, and they majored in a similar field, although they each went different directions within it.

So, I think it's fair to say that they know one another better than I know them. They have more in common, certainly in terms of interests and philosophy, and more shared experiences. I don't necessarily feel like I'm on the outside looking in, although it is true to an extent.

Visiting them where they live these past two days has been somewhat enlightening, although the youngest is as mystifying as ever. (I don't think I'm alone there.) I can see that good housekeeping is not something that runs in the family, at least among brothers. My place is probably on par with the youngest's in terms of orderliness and is definitely better than the others. I'm not making a value judgment--it seems very much in keeping with the engineer/tinkerer mindset--but yeah, it could stand to be neater.

Anyway, it's been interesting to notice how they are and compare them with myself. We all have strong opinions, curiosity for knowledge, and independent and introverted streaks. Personality-wise I suppose we're fairly similar even within the differences. Considering we were raised together, that makes sense.

Our tastes are different, which is to be expected as those are things we have more control over than our home environment as children. The interest and preferences I have in music, film, etc. is not something they share to the same degree. From what I can tell, they don't seem to have searched out the interesting places around the hometown they've adopted. (For instance, trying to tap their awareness of good local restaurants is nearly a fruitless endeavor.) They seem content to stay at home most of the time, something I've come to value more in recent years but which has always been true about me even if I was keeping busy and out of my apartment.

Getting a better sense of where they live--both in geographic terms and at the homestead--and observing the places where they work, play, and worship is probably far more revealing than they (or any of us) would ever acknowledge about the personally created environments that are taken for granted. It is a privilege to be shown these things, whether hosts or guests realize it.

If anything, perhaps the experience will make me less judgmental about decisions they've made that I wouldn't and vice versa. Sure, I want the best for them and have opinions about how they could better achieve it, but I better remember that such a path is a two-way street. Overall, they seem happy with how things are. Isn't that what should be most important?