At the scene

I've been even more careful behind the wheel since my February 20 car accident. It's never a bad idea to be a defensive driver, but if you think about it, my sensitivity to being on the road is misplaced. By being an alert driver, I avoided hitting another car, but for all of my carefulness, there was nothing in my power to keep from being struck from behind.

I've done very little night driving since the accident, mainly because it hasn't been necessary. I admit, though, that I've been a little nervous about doing it. I haven't driven through the accident scene since, although that's not been due to conscious avoidance. I just haven't had reason to be on that stretch of highway.

Tonight I went to an Academy Awards party, so I would have to engage in the most nighttime driving I've done in two weeks. If I chose, my path could take me through where the accident occurred.

Greeted by rain upon my 12:30 a.m. return home--I've backdated this entry's publishing time--I almost reconsidered taking an alternate route, but I felt like I needed to get it over with. Drive through where the accident took place and be done with any hang-ups that might be lingering.

Obviously there wasn't another major obstacle in the roadway this time. There was practically no one on the road at all. Passing through the scene made me realize that I had been an observant and careful driver that evening and that I probably gave the kid who hit me a bigger break than he deserved. Yes, it happened on a bend in the highway, but for him not to have slowed down at all means he mustn't have been paying attention. An accident still might have taken place, but it wouldn't have been such a significant collision.

The other driver is fortunate the police didn't ticket him and that I didn't insist he be charged. (They asked me if I thought he should be. I said no.) I'm not concerned with the degree of blame he should have received, though. That's over and done with.

For me, driving through the scene provided reassurance that I had done all I could do to dodge an accident, even though I ended up being in one. It may be all I need to feel a bit more at ease when driving. If I remain unhurried and watchful, I should be fine. I haven't exactly felt that way the past couple weeks. It will be good to return to that state.