Don't encourage him
At knit night one hypothetical yarn was referred to as "variegated clown barf", which is a pretty funny and evocative name for a colorway if it existed. Unfortunately for me (because I spent way too much time on it) and for you (because you're going to read it), I felt compelled to revive something I regularly did in high school: compose allegedly funny Top Ten lists.
This is where the blog dips its proverbial toe into the disreputable pool, at least a little, although I rejected some ideas on the grounds that they were too crude or potentially offensive. (I'm not particularly into gross-out humor, but this list demands it.)
To lower expectations and absolve myself from bothering to publish it in the first place, I acknowledge that this list isn't funny and certainly contains nothing as inspired as "variegated clown barf". There's a good idea or two, but having batted around jokes for longer than I'd care to admit, I figured it might as well see the light of day.
Top Ten Rejected Yarn Colorway Names
10. Deep Thigh Bruise Ombre
9. Hangman's Noose
8. Hemophilia (not colorfast)
7. Urinal Cake
6. Agent Orange
5. Montezuma's Variegated Revenge
4. Khmer Rouge
3. Skid Marks (self-striping)
2. Purger's Delight
1. Golden Showers
I'm so ashamed.
posted by the secret knitter @ 11:26 PM
6 comments
6 Comments:
i think 3. Skid Marks (self-striping) is my fave ;)
LMAO at Skid Marks and Golden Showers. Your sense of humor is so close to mine.
I can totally picture the deep thigh bruise ombre.
Golden Shower? You went there, oy.
Fun post. Now to go scrub my brain.
I have a dry sense of humor, which comes through a little in this. Overall, though, this is cruder than I would usually go.
I like #10. Deep Thigh Bruise Ombre. I mean really bruises can be some of the most amazing colors. :)
Love #10. It's so specific I could see it.
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