The art of the sale

Having little firsthand experience with car dealers until this week's automobile shopping, I was amused (and frustrated) by the performance aspect of the negotiation and potential transaction. The way these men and women behave is extremely theatrical. The process is one big show with the express purpose of persuading the consumer to purchase a vehicle at the highest price possible.

Wednesday night I got The Two-Faced Professional. He started all chummy and casual, but then he got to asking what I thought my car would fetch as a trade-in. I threw out a figure that I'd seen in the Kelly Blue Book and a higher amount that was floated by a saleswoman. He practically called me a liar or a thief for daring to think that I should receive such a price for my heap.

He pressed on and came up with a final figure that was easily beyond what I was willing to spend. Then he walked away to talk over any potential discount with the manager. He returned much later with a price that was a jaw-dropping $3500 lower, although this was a "late night special" that expired the moment I walked out the door. (Yeah right.) He worked it and kept putting the screws to me and my dad, but I hadn't intended to buy that evening and wasn't prepared to pull the trigger even with such a tempting offer.

Outside the heat of the moment it was pretty clear how ridiculously jacked up their price was, so the dramatic impact of the cost cutting--with tax and title he was offering it at nearly half of an older, higher tag on the car--was arranged to shock and awe. Based on the research I've done, it turned out to be a competitive price, if on the high side for the make and model. Of course, he was hoping to jolt me into thinking I'd just been delivered an unbelievable deal.

I suppose that was good practice for the place where I purchased a car. Unlike any of the other dealerships, this time the salesman rode along in the back seat and chatted up my dad and me during the test drive. I wasn't thrilled about that--it definitely affected how much attention I could give to everything--but this was probably the only pressured aspect of the process.

Once we arrived back at the dealership we were whisked into the office. One of a steady stream of salesmen took the key to my car to evaluate its "trade-in worth". (Let's face it, even if I weren't trading in a car they surely have no intention of reselling other than to the junk yard, those are dollars they would be willing to knock off.) I must have been greeted by four or five people, and part of the reason for this receiving line seemed geared toward getting me to say yes, whether the question was if I wanted them to take a look at my car or would like a bottle of water.

My salesman had the voice and swagger that you'd expect of someone who sells cars for a living, yet he wasn't pushy. He began with the price I'd seen online--interestingly, there was no price on the actual car--and subtracted an expected amount to account for my trade-in. The dance had begun.

That price was too high--and of course you never take the first offer in these instances--and so he went back to talk to the manager. I was sort of expecting to see the big reveal of a significant price drop, but this one was more modest in the form of additional value given for my car. (There must be a reason, tax write-off or otherwise, for this.) It was still more than I really wanted to pay and what we thought they'd be willing to take.

Then we played our chip. I knew the price offered on a comparable car that was a model year newer but had mileage more in line with its age. So we tossed that lowball figure into the sales arena. The dealership also sells that company's car, so it wasn't like they could brush it off as a worthless comparison. My salesman didn't think he could do any more. I said that I understood. While I liked the car, the price was higher than I could accept. If they would get the key to my car, which they still had, I was ready to go.

The salesman went in search of the key, but of course he came back and said that the owner was going to get involved as he was the only one who could approve anything approaching the price I wanted. He asked if we'd have a deal if the owner cut it there. I said we would. He didn't think it would go that low--honestly, I didn't either-- but it was out of his hands now.

After another long waiting period, the star of the show appeared. He was an older guy whose name is on the sign for several dealerships in this smaller town. If he didn't found this dealership fifty or sixty years earlier, surely his father did. He was exceptionally soft spoken and mumbly, not unlike Boomhauer on King of the Hill, and he pretty much cut right to the chase. He saw how much we were apart and offered to split the difference plus a little more to get a nice even number.

I asked for a couple minutes to talk it over with my dad. Neither of us expected they would go any lower or could. (We agreed that they had probably listed the car at a less inflated price than the other dealer we dealt with.) The number was slightly more than I'd been hoping to get out of there with, but it was a fair price according to my research and within the range I was willing to spend. The deal was complete.

Granted, maybe working them down by a thousand dollars wasn't so much our doing, but I displayed preparation and knowledge about the car's worth and claimed (truthfully) to have a fallback option. Even if they might have gone lower, the theater of the sale accomplished what a proper car dealership should do in these situations: it convinced me that I had driven a hard bargain and was happy with the experience.

I can't say that all this was exactly pleasurable. It was hard work, but the place where I bought the car didn't talk down to me or act as if I was asking for the moon. It was just the nuts and bolts way of doing business. Everyone ended up a winner, and we got a free show included with the vehicle.

On the lot

Cutting right to it, I now own a more recently manufactured car with much less mileage on it than the Saturn with 192, 541 miles that I put out to pasture by trading it in. I visited eleven dealerships and one car lot, test drove seven cars, and negotiated twice. (My dad was an invaluable partner. I can't imagine doing this solo.) Some of the dealers were only a mile or two from where I live. The place where I bought the car is thirty-some miles outside the city.

My online searches and research chewed up a lot of hours this week and led to more lost sleep than I wish it had, but the legwork produced the purchase of a vehicle that I think meets my needs about as well as anything could. The experience yielded its share of strange, funny, and aggravating moments, such as:

-At least two salespeople fed me the line that the car I was looking at and test drove was owned by an older person. It may very well have been true, but talk about the stereotypical pitch.

-I took one car out for a spin and had someone pull up beside me to inform me that I lost a hubcap. I hadn't driven even a half mile from the dealership. We were able to recover the hubcap, which came off because it had at least one broken plastic clip.

-There was a reason why I typically eliminated cars at places whose online presences indicated that they weren't dealerships. I went to one of these to find the car blocked in and unable to be test driven, not the least of which was because it had to be jumpstarted. (No surprise that it was a salvage rebuild.)

-One salesman gave me the key to a car and let me take it out without presenting a driver's license or signing any paperwork. His informality tightened up with a post-drive medium-to-high pressure negotiation. (I did not end up buying this car, although it did prove useful to have as an alternative to play as a bargaining chip in the negotiation for the car I got.)

-"That car hasn't been driven in a couple days. The rust will come off the brakes shortly after you use them." Umm, no. My guess is that the rotors are warped because the brakes pulse like crazy. So much for your dealership's 115 point inspection.

-Making derisive remarks about the minorities and immigrants in the area and using some jokey pidgin English probably aren't the best tactics when you don't know the customer you're talking to.

-No way of talking your way out of this one: the salesman hopped in the back seat and had me drive him to a gas station since the fuel light was on. He could not get out of the car because the lock couldn't be undone from the inside. He tried to pass this off as a child safety lock. That might have been a passable explanation except that this car had manual locks.

I'll write about the negotiation and completed sale tomorrow as it deserves space of its own.

Irrational response

It's interesting to discover what elicits responses. My tale of dealing with a door-to-door cable television salesman got more than anything I've written in awhile. Rather than put my reply in the comments, where it is likely to go unread, I thought I'd follow up with a proper entry.

I didn't mention the cable provider, but I don't have a problem saying that I have Time Warner Cable and was being visited by one of their representatives. Whether the person who knocked on my door is an actual employee or a contractor, I don't know. He gave me a telephone number that comes back with a Time Warner listing in the reverse telephone directory, for what it's worth.

I was visited by an AT&T U-Verse rep in the fall and, in a move out of character, agreed to schedule a switch to them. I canceled the next day when I noticed that they didn't carry Fox Sports Ohio HD and are IPTV rather than cable.

I have encountered the problem of one person quoting a price and a phone representative not confirming it. In this particular instance I believe the door-to-door salesman overstated by three times what I'm paying for the movie package with IFC and Sundance, so the "deal" he was going to give me to lower that along with signing on for their phone service wasn't as good as advertised.

The fact that I wrote quite a bit about the experience that night and am following up on it again should tell you how aggravated it made me. I probably spent a good twenty minutes talking to this guy and trying to explain why I wasn't interested, even if it didn't make sense to him. Next time I just need to make it clear that I am not interested at all in adding or switching any services on my account. If they would like to lower my rate as a gesture of thanks for being a longtime customer--I've been a cable subscriber since 1995--then I'll gladly accept. Otherwise, have a good night.

I know that I said this less forcefully to the salesman, but he heard this as, "I'd like to pay less even if it means switching to Time Warner digital cable, even though I say I don't want it."

My reaction to the situation reminds me that I don't like being sold to and am inherently suspicious of such tactics. I repeatedly mentioned that I was happy with Vonage and had not had any problems during the several years I've been a customer, yet the TW salesman kept speaking negatively of their services compared to those his company offers. Running down the competition in terms contrary to my experience is not going to persuade me.

I'm a little surprised to find the commenters in agreement with me regarding my irrationality in this matter. My brothers certainly wouldn't see it this way.

Irrational

While I heard a cable salesman talking to a downstairs neighbor, I slipped out to get some evening exercise. I figured it was my cable company's competition trying to get new sign-ups and switches, and I didn't want to deal with it. I was gone for about 45 minutes and assumed I had dodged this door-to-door seller, but within a few minutes of returning home I heard a knock on my door. Surely it wasn't the same guy I'd observed pitching someone else in my building three-quarters of an hour before.

Oh, but it was.

Turns out that he is employed by my cable company. He was checking to see if I'm satisfied with my service, although I'm sure that was a pretext for trying to get me to add additional services. I was a little put off by the quasi-stalking behavior--obviously he noticed I'd left and waited until I returned-- but I figured that I might be able to get a lower rate out of the situation.

When asked how I felt about their product, I said that I was satisfied but that of course I would appreciate a lower rate. Granted, this was a way for him to start selling. He started talking about their turbo speed internet, but I brushed it off by saying that faster would be nice but that I could live with what I currently have.

Then he transitioned to talking about a package of cable, phone, and internet. I told him that I use Vonage, have been satisfied with it for the five years I've had it, and know that the cable company cannot beat the price as I've talked about this with their telemarketing salesman several times. (In brief, my plan gives me 500 minutes per month with free long distance, and I come nowhere close to using this time. On average I probably use ten to twenty percent.)

Undeterred, he offered a package of all three that would slightly lower my cable bill and eliminate my Vonage bill. A rational person would probably acknowledge this and accept the deal. Maybe this person would push for a better offer, but I'm guessing he would switch.

For whatever reason, I am irrational, especially on this topic. I am not interested in the cable company's landline digital phone service. I have not had any difficulties with Vonage other than being unable to use it when the power is out, but in those rare instances I have a cell phone that can ably fill in.

The salesman tried finding other places where he could save me money, such as adding some free months of movie channels. I explained that I do film criticism and see those movies in the theater, thus giving me little to no need for HBO and the like. He pointed out that I do have an Encore movie package, which I kept for Sundance and IFC, but frankly his bringing it up reminded me that I probably ought to cancel it for as infrequently as I watch them. I said as much except that I pointed out it might be necessary to keep them because when I did cancel HBO my monthly rate was raised. It sounds insane but is true. He told me that such a policy is no longer in place.

And then we were back to adding phone service. He tried and tried, saying that I had mentioned wanting to save money and that I could do that with switching. I responded that I would like to spend less but that I'm also satisfied with my provider and thus uninterested in switching. He asked what he could offer that would get me to change to their digital phone. I told him that I didn't know what there was, if anything.

Here's the thing: he's right, I could save money under this proposition, although I wonder if that's while the introductory period (the first year) is in place only. He tried like mad to find a way to convert me. Here's the other thing, one that he couldn't understand: I was being completely irrational and stubborn.

To give myself a smidgen of credit, something I probably don't deserve here, I didn't want the hassle of needing to set up an appointment to be at home for them to do whatever they need to do. In regard to the free movie channels that could be added onto what I already have with no charge, I don't want the burden of needing to cancel them before that time expired. (I've fallen into that trap once before.)

I really think he didn't know what to do with me because he was making no headway and was stupefied by my resistance to the logical choice. Or to put it more succinctly:

"Hey, switch your phone service to us and you will save some money each month per your statement that you wish to do so."

"No, I'm not interested in switching telephone service."

"But..."

"Sorry, no thanks."

"Does not compute."

"Exactly."