Thursday, July 29, 2010

Out of the past

The other day I received a message on Ravelry from an older lady wanting to know if she knew me. In one of the forums I must have mentioned where I'm originally from. (She must have been searching for that particular place because it certainly isn't mentioned anything I've posted recently.) Since my hometown is a small burg, chances are that she would be acquainted with me.

The sender's profile and the small bits of information in the message didn't give me the slightest clue if this was someone I knew, but I was certain that I would be aware of whoever this turned out to be.

I replied without including my last name, although the piece of verifying information was effectively as revealing. Why did I not provide my last name outright? I don't know. It's not like the message is searchable on the web. I suppose its absence allowed me to sustain that electronic distance between the public me and the secret knitter. I briefly explained my reason for the secrecy, primarily because I figured it seemed weird that I was beating around the bush.

Unsurprisingly, she did know my family. As a matter of fact, her family lived in the neighborhood where our first home was. (We moved within the same small town.) She promised not to mention about the knitting, although I really don't care about that. If anything, I'm probably just making questions multiply in her mind as to what my deal is.

Perhaps me writing "I really don't care about that" about her keeping the secret jumps out at you. Hey bud, look at your name, right? Let me clarify then.

At this point my interest in remaining secret pertains to my online presence and my job. I like the relative anonymity of writing about whatever under a pseudonym, although it's more about not having my name linked to this blog than what I'm saying. For regular readers and those at knit night, I don't think my identity is exactly a mystery, and I'm fine with that. The search engines and spiders don't need to know, though.

As for keeping it from my co-workers and the students, I've softened on my original hardline stance of complete silence when it comes to my knitting. That doesn't mean anything has changed. It's not something I've shared, nor do I plan to bring it up. On the other hand, it wouldn't be mentally and emotionally catastrophic if the secret were to slip. I think part of that is due to the mood of the place now, although if word did get out, I suspect it would just make me seem weirder. Then again, maybe I overestimate how offbeat I am perceived as being there.

Of course, getting that Ravelry mail from someone out of the past (and out of the blue) cuts straight to the reason for having a layer of secrecy. If I want the information divulged, it's on my terms. Please tell me that doesn't make me a control freak.

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1 Comments:

At 6:32 AM, Blogger Jennifer said...

I don't think you're a control freak and I don't think you need to justify your choice to keep your identity a secret. It's your choice and your life.

 

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