Saturday, March 03, 2012

Looking ridiculous

As I've been going to my appointments with a student trainer and working out almost every day, I've come to a realization about maturity.  You see, I know there have to be some days when I'm working out, especially with a trainer, that I must look ridiculous.  Pushing through the repetitions of squats and whatever else I'm asked to do surely doesn't show me to be a smoothly operating physical specimen.  And that's just on the first sets.  Second time around, when I'm more tired, must be even more amusing to those who can see.

Yet I've come to realize that I don't care if I look foolish.  Sure, if someone in the vicinity is laughing at me, then I doubt I'll be able to shrug it off, but I'll cross that bridge if it presents itself.  Instead I'll just keep trying to give my full effort and not worry if I'm amusing the others in the gym.

I was an "old soul" growing up, meaning that I was more mature in an outward way.  That's how people commonly think of maturity, especially during adolescence and young adulthood, but isn't there also an inner maturity, call it comfort with oneself, that may take longer to develop or is what follows the teenage and college years?

I'm not saying I have it all figured out or that I've shed my self-consciousness.  I do think, though, that reaching the point where feeling secure even when potentially appearing foolish to others is a sign of some kind of personal growth.

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